FROZEN: the guilt I had in me all these years

I completed the 50 rounds marathon of watching the frozen movie yesterday. Thanks to my son, it has been a wonderful and insightful experience as well, and my sweetheart made it more enjoyable by mimicking everything the characters do in the movie. There was plenty of laughter, plenty of singing, and of course, tears as well.

For the past one and a half month, I have been going through this movie every single day with him; on weekends we watch them twice. Sometimes, he would forget our sweet little movie date but I will remind him and make him jump all over the place.

Why the craze, I ask myself many times too often.
Well, to start on a freaking honest note, it’s my own guilt. I used to shut the people around me (read: sibling) often during our growing years. While my sibling was the perfect example of Anna (minus the silver strand of hair, no trolls ever kissed her), I was even worse than Elsa. I never had any freezing superpowers, and neither was I from a royal lineage. Yet, I was the ice queen in the family, and shutting out my bumbling sibling was never hard for me. It was easy and practical; I had to concentrate on reading, homework, school activities (yes, they were my freezing powers) and so playtime with the only sibling in the family was out of question.

I can almost hear my voice when Elsa says “Go away, Anna” or “I think you should leave”.

They came naturally to me..until she did leave one day.
We both left home, to college, to work, then life consumed us in more ways than we could ever imagine. We made our names in the world.

Things were fine, they still are, actually.
The Frozen happened to me.
The memories came back.

Though the sibling I have never made me to freeze everything in sight, there were minor hiccups and disagreements over the years which we still could not settle.

But thanks to the universe and all the powers that be, she never asked me that one question which made me cringe during the movie: What did I ever do to you, why did you shut me out?!

I guess age and experience have matured us in most ways.
Maybe she realized that I’m not that ice queen anymore.
Maybe I have learned to open the door.

I’m going back to watch the movie for the 51st time now.